


Inconceivable

by LadyLade



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Didn't Know They Were Dating, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-02
Updated: 2015-09-02
Packaged: 2018-04-18 14:54:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4710032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyLade/pseuds/LadyLade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After they finish bemoaning Derek and Stiles and their combined stupidity (it takes about a week), Lydia and Jackson come up with a fool-proof (well, <i>Stiles-and-Derek</i>-proof) plan.</p>
<p>Step One: Compile a list of on-going actions that mean Derek and Stiles are dating.</p>
<p>Step Two: Show said list to Derek and Stiles and humbly accept their gratefulness when they are enlightened.</p>
<p>Step Three: Veggie shakes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inconceivable

**Author's Note:**

> Teen Wolf kink meme prompt: Yeah, I'm a romantic. So, anons, I want stealthy dating tactics. Like Derek and Stiles have been dating for a while except one of them doesn't know. Until someone else makes a comment or they catch a clue. And their only concern is, wait, why haven't we been making out? Though I would love subtle dates and jacket sharing. ♥ (Original is [here](http://teenwolfkink.livejournal.com/2069.html?thread=1224725#t1224725). Livejournal post is [here](http://ladylade.livejournal.com/12674.html).)

It starts when Scott mentions, offhandedly, “A date? They’re not dating.”

Lydia and Jackson stare because, what the fuck?

“Of course they’re dating,” Lydia says.

_Jackson and Lydia_ may not be dating anymore, but Jackson thinks it’s made them even more terrifying when they work together. Because Jackson and Lydia? Totally know that those two are dating, even if it is secretly (in which case, they suck at the “secretly” part).

“They’re not dating,” Scott says.

“Dude, you’re Stiles’ best friend,” Jackson says, “how are you this oblivious?”

Scott is kind of a shitty friend. Jackson _always_ knows whom Danny is dating.

“No, no, you don’t understand,” Scott says, “they’re _not actually dating_.”

Dear god. Jackson thinks that, possibly, this isn’t Scott just being completely oblivious to everything but Allison.

Lydia obviously agrees. Jackson hasn’t seen Lydia this horrified since Algebra II, when a pothead told her she thought her homework was printed out wrong because the math had letters in it.

“But, they,” Jackson says.

This is impossible. _Everyone_ knows that they’re dating. Jackson is pretty sure that the _Sheriff_ knows they’re dating.

“I know, man,” Scott says, and he really does sound like he understands their pain.

Lydia and Jackson stare at him, and then they stare at each other.

Well, fuck. What do Derek and Stiles think they’re _doing_ then, exactly?

>>> 

Jackson actually thought that Derek and Stiles were dating before Lydia did. He pointed it out one afternoon when they were bored, sitting on Derek’s porch as Scott went through the training exercise _again_ because McCall is frustratingly slow at being a werewolf.

“Did you notice that Derek always walks Stiles to his car, and then shuts the door for him?” Jackson says, because if there’s one thing that Lydia does better than being perfect, it’s gossiping.

“Does he really?” Lydia doesn’t even look up from filing her nails.

“Yeah, he’s got this whole thing about Stiles and doors. Like, last week when we went out for Mexican, he opened the car door _and_ the restaurant door before and after we ate.” Jackson grins as Derek gets a particularly hard hit on Scott’s ribs. “I think they’re secretly dating.”

Lydia snorts. “That’s about as likely as me loving my eventual trophy husband.”

>>> 

A week later, Lydia has seen the light.

“You know how we’re not allowed over on Thursday nights?” she says as Jackson closes his locker. “It’s because Derek and Stiles have a _private_ dinner. They talk about ‘training exercises’ and ‘do research’.”

“So they say, huh?” Jackson says.

Lydia laughs, and they walk down the hall with linked arms, because broken up or not, they still _rule_ this school.

>>> 

Jackson and Lydia go to their secret meeting place to digest this, which is to say that they sprawl across both each other and Lydia’s bed.

“It’s not like it’s _just Derek_ ,” Jackson finally blurts out, because, Jesus fuck.

“I know!” Lydia says. “Stiles is always making Derek food and cleaning his house. He’d be such a good wife if he wasn’t so much trouble.”

“And twitchy,” Jackson says, because this is indeed true. “Maybe it’s a werewolf thing that Derek’s trying to ease Stiles into, and Stiles is just oblivious.”

“No,” Lydia says, “as much as I will never tell this to Stiles, he really is clever. _God_ are those two losers. They actually eat dinner and make up training exercises on Thursday nights?”

“It’s a tragedy,” Jackson agrees.

“This has to stop. They have to _actually start dating_. I am committed to this idea of the world as a fact and I will not be wrong,” Lydia says.

Jackson grins. If Lydia says she won’t be wrong, then she won’t be, even if she has to beat them both into submission and supervise the dates herself.

>>>

After they finish bemoaning Derek and Stiles and their combined stupidity (it takes about a week), they come up with a fool-proof (well, _Stiles-and-Derek_ -proof) plan.

Step One: Compile a list of on-going actions that mean Derek and Stiles are dating.

Step Two: Show said list to Derek and Stiles and humbly accept their gratefulness when they are enlightened.

“Step Three: Veggie shakes,” Lydia says.

“You are not Nikita,” Jackson says.

“But I could be,” Lydia says.

Jackson thinks that, sadly, this is true.

(But without the whole crack-addict routine, because Lydia’s too smart for that.)

>>> 

“Wait,” Jackson says two days later, “Wouldn’t that mean Derek is Michael?”

“Well, yes,” Lydia says, “but in this scenario Michael is in love with Birkhoff.”

Jackson’s never going to be able to watch Nikita again without laughing the entire time. Or feeling nauseous. He hasn’t decided which.

>>> 

“They go to the movies together,” Jackson says.

“I know for a fact that Derek usually buys Stiles’ ticket,” Lydia says.

“Stiles is the only one allowed to use the kitchen,” Jackson says.

“Derek practically builds Stiles nests on the porch when he thinks it’s too cold for Stiles to be in just a jacket when he watches us train,” Lydia says.

“I’m pretty sure those are blankets from Derek’s bed,” Jackson says.

“Stiles is the only one allowed to call Derek pet names,” Lydia says.

“Wait, when did this happen?” Jackson says.

“It’s _Derek_ , sour wolf is practically the only pet name for him,” Lydia says.

“This is true,” Jackson says. “Have you noticed Stiles is the only one he calls names and threatens on a regular basis?”

Lydia glares at their list and makes that high, frustrated sound that only women can properly do.

Jackson doesn’t know if it’s because threatening bodily harm is an acceptable way for Derek to flirt or because both Derek and Stiles are that idiotic, but either way he feels her pain.

>>> 

“I’m not helping you with this,” Scott says when Jackson tells him the plan. “And veggie shakes are gross.”

“This is why you’ll always be a loser, McCall,” Jackson says.

>>> 

“They’re driving me _insane_ ,” Lydia says. “It’s throwing off my sleep cycle.”

“You saw them holding hands, too?” Jackson says.

“They were _holding hands?_ ” Lydia says.

“Stiles was dragging Derek into the comic store by his hand,” Jackson says, “so, yes.”

Lydia actually looks like she’s considering crying.

“We should move onto Step Two,” Jackson says.

“I’m going to murder them in their sleep,” Lydia says.

>>> 

They corner both Derek and Stiles in the living room after the next training practice.

“You need to actually start dating,” Lydia tells them.

“ _What?_ ” Stiles squawks.

“We have been dating,” Derek says.

“See?” Stiles says. “We have been— _we’ve been what_.”

“I take you to movies,” Derek says.

“You told me no one else will go see them with you!” Stiles says, complete with flailing arms.

“They won’t,” Derek says, “because I don’t invite them.”

Stiles gapes. “How long has this been going on?!”

“Five months,” Jackson and Lydia say.

“Five months? _Five months?_ I’m sorry, but what the hell?” Stiles says.

Lydia is smirking and preening as Stiles starts babbling something about informed consent. Jackson admires how hot she looks when she’s getting her way.

They discretely leave their list on the coffee table as they sneak away. Then, they fist-bump when they get outside. It’s time for Step Three, and then it’s mission accomplished.

>>> 

Two days later, when a cold-front blows through town, they see Stiles pull on Derek’s jacket before he rushes out of school.

“We are so awesome,” Jackson says.

“You could be Owen,” Lydia agrees.

“It’s Thursday,” Jackson says.

“You know they always talk about pack business after dinner,” Lydia says, but she’s smothering laughter.

Jackson grins. “So they say.”


End file.
